Below are the 4 most recent journal entries recorded in nonexistency's LiveJournal:

Thursday, April 28th, 2005
8:36 pm	Were sitting on the couch watching Oprah. I turn to Alexander, genuinely confused. “Do you ever notice how when people clap without being instructed to, someone has to start it?” “Yea.” “Do you ever spontaneously start clapping and nobody else follows?” “Yea.” “Ok.” They take a commercial break and he looks around like he doesn’t know where he is. “Do you hear that?” “What?” “That! The... the song. Don’t tell me you don’t hear it! Its that one song by Queen. Just listen.” There is silence except for the TV and sure enough there is a queen song playing in the background of a car commercial. I laugh. Alex can be so random sometimes. “So you hear it? I’m not crazy?” I nod my head and his eyes light up. “Hey, do you have any brown sugar?” “Wow... that’s really random. Ummm... sure, if I do it would be in the cupboard on the far left, third shelf. You can check if you want. What’s it for though?” “I’m hungry!” He stands up, shuffles over to the cupboard, reaches in and pulls out a bad of brown sugar. It’s half empty. He shakes it, smiling, and opens it up, pinching some between his fingers and stuffing it in his mouth. Pleased with his find, he sits back down at my side. “Want some?” There is a little bit in the corners of his mouth. “No... Why are you eating it anyway?” “I’m hungry... I told you...” He shakes his head like he’s disappointed in me. I’m assuming that eating brown sugar for a meal isnt strange for him. Oprah comes back on and the room begins to smell like sugar. (Comment on this)
8:19 pm	Two men and a woman come out the door in suits, the men carry briefcases and the woman walks a little ahead of them. A minute later five women, a small child and an old man file out. And then again, two women, two men and a child. How could so many people fit in such a small house? And like the last straw, an old woman in a flowered shirt walks out and paces on the front lawn, watching to the others as they drive away. No, this cant be. An old man comes out with a cane and they slowly make their way to a car that is waiting at a stop sign. The whole thing reminds me of the scene in 16 Candles when all the relatives are trying to get to the wedding. I count the people who left just now. There were 17 of them. 17! Talk about a large family... In my head “Lady” is playing and I laugh at how random it is. (Comment on this)
8:11 pm	“Sam?” I turn around and find myself face to face with a woman I have never met in my life. I wonder how she knows my name. “Do I know you?” Her face squishes up and she seems to be having trouble coming up with an answer. “I think so... well... maybe not. Sorry.” She seems to be confused as she walks away. She reminds me of some sort of rodent. When she reaches the street corner she stops and looks around as if she is looking for someone, and then turns and walks into a small store. I lean to my right, trying to figure out what kind of store it is and then give up, settling back into my seat. Across the table Mary is smirking at me. She must have found the woman odd too. “Does it ever bother you that we share every moment of our lives with other people?” “What do you mean?” She could mean so many things. “Well... at this second someone is crossing the street and someone else is making dinner and still someone else could be driving home from work. We think that we own our time but we share it with everyone else out there.” “Yea, sometimes I’ll look at someone and think that while im thinking about them they’re thinking something totally different.” “A lot of people have trouble doing that, you know? They don’t realize that everyone else out there is just as alive and aware and... I guess... real as they are. We tend, as humans, to focus on ourselves and forget about the rest of the population. What we want is so endless, you and I are always... always wanting something, and we get so preoccupied with what we want that the rest of the world just fades away and its just us... and we think that’s all that matters.” “Exactly. When were happy someone out there is sad and while were in pain someone out there is really enjoying themselves. I guess we cant always focus on other people though because then all our needs would get ignored and wed die out. So in a way the human race is based on selfishness. It will always be me before you. And that has nothing to do with how I feel for the other person, it just means that we never do things without a reward. Even putting someone else ahead of you, like when your in love, your still doing it because it makes you feel good in the end. Everyone is so self centered.” She sighs and takes a sip of coffee... thinking about everything we just said. Her cup is white and reminds me of water color paper. She doesn’t use the handle, and I smile at the memory of my frustration with handles as a child. Her eyebrow drops. “What are you smiling at?” “Memories.” “Oh.” She looks worries and sets down her cup, watching me the whole time. I lean back, feeling content. (Comment on this)
7:58 pm	This woman power walks past me with her blond hair pulled back and her mouth open, revealing her slightly yellowed teeth. I don’t know her. I don’t really want to know her, as is the case with a lot of people. On the grass some kids are playing frisbee... running around frantically trying to catch the soaring red disk that always seems to hover just out of their reach. But still their little hands grasp at the empty air, causing them to lose their balance and fall in the mud, staining their clothes with dirt and grass. No doubt to end in a very unhappy mother. But for the moment they keep playing... enjoying the little freedom they have been permitted on this autumn day. The tree next to me shudders and a yellow leaf drifts down into my lap, resting peacefully on my right leg before I press it between pages 82 and 83 in my book. I have become bored with the part, but sit anyways watching my trees friends wave to each other in the cold. (Comment on this)